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Brief: 500-800 word blog entry/article on how managers and business owners can motivate their staff. Be creative as you want! 😉

June 4th 2018

Scenes from a Workplace

Episode 1 -Motivation/Demotivation

A modern office space, godless and spartan.

Guy

Sure, where has Aoife gotten to?’ Is she on vacation?

Kevin

She left 6 months ago boss man!

Guy

Oh right. And Simon, I haven’t seen him at the office or in the coffee-room at all recently.

Kevin

Yeah, he resigned a month ago. He got a better offer from another company, fair play! Eh, shouldn’t you be aware of these changes in this work environment which you oversee nay manage?

Guy

Quite right Gareth. But having a lot of stress on the home front, bills, termite infestation.

Kevin

You’ve got termites?

Guy

Yeah busloads. They were planted there by my ex-wife after the divorce. Diet plan investments not going well at all christ! Little children complaining 24/7. My parrot is dying - AIDS related - this hairline, my self-respect eroding like the Serengeti in a heat wave.

Kevin

Um.It’s Kevin.

Guy

Yes. It certainly is Gareth.

Kevin

Right. So, I’m finishing today.

Guy

Ah, sorry to see you go then. A real pity. Why?

Kevin

Why what? Oh why am i leaving? Hmm. i don’t know. I am not quite sure. Do you know this is the first time in two years you’ve acknowledged my existence? Oh, you took credit for my food sharing i worked for six months on. No pay rise despite having worked shitloads of overtime practically week in week out. I’ve yet to take a holiday and oh yes, was run over by a Lidl delivery truck outside the office last year and spent one month in agony and despair hospital staring at my crushed right leg. No sick pay because I was told that this company regarded accidents as non illness related but rather as ‘force majeure’ which doesn't factor into the company's insurance policy. My wife had to resort to clowning. Never again!

Guy

Really? Maybe that is a bit uncool no? I will review our policies. So Chris…’

Kevin

Kevin!

Guy

Would you say that you were somewhat dissatisfied with your current work situation thus leading you to make a decision to leave for greener pastures if you will?

Kevin

If i said i was satisfied, that would make a liar in God's eyes so my satisfaction levels out of 10, I would say overall they were a 3.

Guy

3? Oh, that’s quite low isn’t it Garth? That won’t do at all. The investors said they need an average of 6. Could you go up to 5 maybe 6 if we helped you on your way so to speak?

Kevin

Listen. Seeing as it’s my last day thus the consequences of my actions from this point forward would be viewed as redundant. Do you want some advice?

Guy

Yes. Fire away Barry! So to speak. I’m all ears.

Kevin

You might want to read up on Frederick Herzberg's motivation-hygiene theory, also known as the dual factor theory. Herzberg argues that certain factors - motivators ( e.g., responsibility, challenging meaningful work, recognition in the workplace cause positive satisfaction whilst a completely different set of factors - hygiene factors (e.g., salary, workplace conditions, benefits, holidays) - cause dissatisfaction.

Guy

I see. Fascinating stuff.

Kevin

‘Thus, the existence of the former gives fiercely positive satisfaction and the absence of the latter do not in and of themselves give workers satisfaction but their absence creates major vibes of dissatisfaction. Anyway, i could babble on for hours ya twat but I have to clear my workstation and head out for a pint with me new boss who seems dead sound...byeeee!’

Guy

Good luck Devin! Oh, dear Guy. This is another badly handled managerial mess you’ve gotten yourself into!’

Cue laughter from audience.

Does this situation feel familiar? Perhaps too familiar? If you are like us, you want to greet each morning with a smile and a hug, looking forward to entering your place work with a sense of divine purpose and giddiness of a child then you will want avoid this outcome at any cost.

According to Margaret Jacoby, president and founder of MJ management Solutions, a leading HR consulting firm ‘happy workers are productive workers’. She offers 5 simple ways for business owners to keep your staff happy:

Communicate better

Be an Example

Empower them

Offer opportunities for advancement

Provide Incentives

Easy peasy right? But i know what you are thinking, what about ways to not de-motivate your workforce you big dumb dreamer?

Well, we’ve got that covered too as management expert Victor Lipman writing for Forbes, outlines some key ways to motivate and demotivate your employees. Some of these doozies include ‘taking credit for a project your employee did most of the work on, losing your temper and being emotionally stingy or withholding praise.

We’ve all been there. Those crazy bosses, am i right!?

So head honchos, masters of your domains; read, listen and learn! Your staffs happiness is the golden key to success ya dig?

Now get out there and motivate but in a respectful, non creepy way of course.

Derek Mc Donnell

 

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